By Rona Barrett
The Ditzy Chix: (from left to right) Linda Rice, Maria Murdock, Rona Barrett, and Nicole Forsythe
Yesterday, one of my closest friends in life passed away. She was one of the sweetest, kindest, most generous, loving and wonderful women I have had the honor to know. From the moment we met (attempting to put on the first annual benefit for our community hospital the Santa Ynez Hospital–now part of the larger Cottage Health System of Santa Barbara), we became fast friends.
She, her husband and their children were the owners of Sunstone Winery, one of the best boutique wineries in the Santa Ynez Valley. It is because of them that I became a lover of wines and discovered what ‘the land’ really meant to people who are farmers. She was a big part of the inspiration for me to grow Lavender on my ranch and I became a farmer, too. Making wine or taking any crop and turning it into a product is a mixture of pure and unadulterated love and artistry. Sunstone’s Merlot wines and their estate Viogniers are two of their finest wines. And then they created Eros for Valentine’s Day and Eros and my “Rona Barrett” Lavender dark chocolate sauce became my favorite dessert, as it was for so many others.
Linda Rice was her name. Marketing was her game. She helped make the Sunstone wines synonymous with the Santa Ynez Valley. I know I was not the only person who was her “good friend”; she had so many others. Another one of her friends (and mine), Maria Ferrer Murdock, and I we were at her bedside several hours before she left us. Every Friday afternoon for the last several years, the three of us met once a week at some restaurant for girl talk, but mainly about our spiritual beliefs and we told each other stories about our lives, our troubles, our aches and we laughed like crazy. Some of our most serious stories were told in such a way, we suddenly realized how funny they were and we were. One of our favorite places was the famous Grappolo Trattoria in the Santa Ynez Valley. Though we inhabited all of our local restaurants we often came back to Grappolo where one Friday afternoon, placed on our table was a “Reserved” card and on it was printed “For the Ditzy Chix!”
From then on we were the “Ditzy Chix” and two years ago we added another woman to our trio, Nicole Forsythe, wife of John, who passed away last week. We all admitted that Friday was the day we all couldn’t wait to come around because it was time for the “Ditzy Chix.” We loved the name and we loved the friends we had become.
No one knew for nine years that Linda was fighting her incredible battle against cancer. She told no one; not even Maria or myself. Several years ago, we were all at an Annual Dinner we had for our hospital, when Linda’s adoring husband Fred looked at both of us when his wife went to the “easement room” and with tears in his eyes said, “Pray for her. She’s very sick.” And that was the only thing we were ever told. We never told Linda we knew anything. But when she got terribly ill a few months ago she made up all kinds of excuses as to why she couldn’t meet with us. One day I said to her on the phone, “I don’t care what you are up to. I haven’t seen you in a month. We’ve only spoken on the phone. I’m coming over to see you!” And I did.
Linda was one of those people who never wanted to be pitied. She didn’t want any of her friends feeling sorry for her. So we pretended nothing was happening and we never asked her how she felt. We told funny stories, never stayed long and when we left, we just knew the end was coming and our tears flowed silently down our cheeks.
At around 6 PM every evening I would call her to see how her day went and what she had done. In the morning around 7 am she would call me to ask me if anything good was happening with my Foundation and what I was up to regarding my Seniors In Need.
Today at 6 pm I picked up the phone to call Linda and only then realized I had no friend to call.
She may be gone, but I will never forget Linda Rice, an extraordinary woman who was braver than anyone I have ever known. Goodbye, sweet lady. I’m off to the ocean to throw you some flowers and wish you a wonderful Bon Voyage.
10 Comments
As an old family friend, I was present that first night, you and Linda Rice co-chaired the annual fund raiser for the Santa Ynez Hospital. I sat there with Fred and Linda and Fred’s brother Rob and listened as you shared the compliments of the evening with dear Linda. She humbly accepted your kind words and seemed proud of what you had accomplished for the cause. Your blog was so beautiful that I am still wiping the tears away from my eyes. I felt every word and I admired your description of your very personal friendship. Thank you for sharing that with us. I will continue to pray for Linda’s soul and for Fred, Ashley, Brittany and Bion. I am sure they appreciated your loving words as well.
Michael S.
Nice article about a wonderful neighbor and friend to all. Linda will be missed. Thank you Rona for letting everyone know how special she was!
Teri H.
Thank you for the beautiful tribute to Linda. She was indeed special, as was your friendship. Tom and I visited Fred last year, and found out then about how sick she was. We were not able to visit her, as she was out and about–no doubt with her Ditzy Chix. What a woman! We have the Rice family in our hearts and prayers.
Marcy S.
Through the tears, the memories of magical, serious, hilarious, and everyday times with Linda help me see her spirit brightly today. Since we were in the 8th grade, we have been friends. Our most memorable times together were at College of the Desert – even then we were in awe our incredible adventures and what life gave us every day. I will never forget the day Fred moved into the same apartment building – I knew right away he was the one for Linda. And what a life and family they created together! Back then, and today, when I hear the song “Cielito Lindo”, I always change it to Cielito Linda – I love the refrain:
Ay, ay, ay, ay,
Canta y no llores,
Porque cantando se alegran,
Cielito lindo, los corazones
The translation:
Ay, ay, ay, ay,
sing and don’t cry,
heavenly one, for singing
gladdens the heart.
Yes, Linda you will be missed and your spirit will continue to grace us all. Ciao Bella!
Nancy S.
A Tribute to Our Lady of Sunstone
We scribes, the descendants of those who struggled with sharpened goose quills, black water and papyri, still struggle to inadequately describe clearly and fully what is not describable by any language.
How does one describe the ineffable Linda Rice?
If you will be kind enough to overlook my inadequacy and give me a chance I will try: Cheerful like sunrise which brings the gifts of light and warmth and like songbirds which bring the gifts of music and happiness, for she was goodness personified. Clichés should not be used for they are undignified. In her terminal pain she thought of others and arranged to help the less fortunate.
And, what is truly undignified is our society which allows one to die barbarically and torturously.
For as long as she is loved she is still alive. I will love her until I die.
Daniel M.
What a wonderful tribute to such a courageous and gracious woman. I only had the pleasure of meeting her when she was so ill, but she put on such a strong front. Said she would see me later when she felt better. Rest in peace. She will always be watching over her family and friends.
Kris J.
Thank you Rona for the beautiful tribute to the sweetest dearest friend any of us will ever have. Linda and I have shared laughter, tears and joy for nearly 30 years as our children grew together and our lives took such parallel paths, even moving to the Valley the same month and year from our old neighborhood in Hope Ranch. When Linda became ill we both shared our struggle with breast cancer as we were diagnosed about the same time. Her love of life, family and beauty helped sustain me and we both became committed to live fully in the present moment. This disease did not defeat her spirit. She has been an inspiration to me with her courage and acceptance. I know that her gentle soul continues to surround those of us who will always love her. Thank you dear one for gracing my life these too few years. You will always remain in my heart.
Mary Ann E.
Hello Rona, how nice to read your lovely tribute to Linda. How wonderful for you ladies to have that special relationship with each other. That is so very precious. I only met Linda in January at Issel’s Clinic in Santa Barbra. From our first meeting I felt drawn to her. I enjoyed our time talking and laughing together. And I was equally blessed when I met Fred and one of their daughters. I was very sad to hear from Fred of Linda’s passing. May the Lord richly bless you and all you do…Carole
I am delighted to see such a wonderful tribute to the life of an extraordinary woman. Although I’ve worked for and with many professionals over the years, working for Linda has been the most memorable. With her diverse interests and zest for life, everyday was a new quest. She had the ability to make everyone feel “fabulous” with just a smile and a blink of those beautiful blue eyes. Quite and reserved in demeanor, I observed as she pursed her vision with extraordinary skill, clarity and compassion. Her courage in life is an example to us all. “May her memory and vision live on forever in those who loved her.”
Carol T.
Rona,
Discovered your wonderful tribute to Linda a little late but I think your words are wonderful. It’s difficult to express what Linda’s friendship meant to me, however, I feel a hole in my life since her passing. What started as a business relationship in 1983 grew into one of the closest friendships I’ve ever had. Linda is a person who I thought would always be in my life and I think of her every single day. I knew she was ill, but I always thought she would rally (wishful thinking) and I know she gave it her best. Our last few times together doing sleepovers (like a couple of kids) and playing Ultimate Rummy till we couldn’t keep our eyes open were just so much fun. She won almost every game! What a special person she is; I still feel her presence.
Linda J.