Fall 2021 - Volume 9

The Rona Barrett Foundation Quarterly Newsletter

Rona Barrett, a TV journalist who became an advocate for vulnerable seniors, has launched “Gray Matters: The Podcast.”

The program shares personal stories and observations about the adventure of aging. 

A news release describes the podcast as “a weekly dose of thought-provoking, funny and useful insights on issues that matter to our senior loved ones and those who care for them.”

“I hear from so many friends and fans struggling with the realities of caring for senior family members or their own senior years,” said Rona Barrett, founder and CEO of the Rona Barrett Foundation. The nonprofit supports Golden Inn & Village, a Santa Ynez facility for low-income seniors. 

“There are too many unspoken mysteries around growing up and growing older,” Ms. Barrett said in the news release. “I hope my podcast will bring people of all ages together to share freely about the experience of phasing into new stages of life.”

Media icon Rona Barrett, who is now an advocate for vulnerable seniors, has launched “Gray Matters: The Podcast,” in which she shares personal stories and observations about “the adventure of aging.”

Barrett’s debut podcast is a weekly dose of thought-provoking, humorous, and useful insights on issues that matter to senior loved ones and those who care for them.

“I hear from so many friends and fans struggling with the realities of caring for senior family members or their own senior years,” said Barrett, founder of the nonprofit Rona Barrett Foundation. “There are too many unspoken mysteries around growing up and growing older. I hope my podcast will bring people of all ages together to share freely about the experience of phasing into new stages of life.”

After some 35 years as a celebrity reporter, commentator and producer, Barrett has spent the past 20 years championing the need for housing and care for vulnerable seniors, as founder/CEO of the nonprofit Rona Barrett Foundation.

Santa Ynez, Calif., September 3, 2021 – Groundbreaking media icon Rona Barrett, now advocate for vulnerable seniors, launches Gray Matters: The Podcast, sharing personal stories and observations about “the adventure of aging.” Barrett’s debut podcast is a weekly dose of thought-provoking, funny and useful insights on issues that matter to our senior loved ones and those who care for them.

“I hear from so many friends and fans struggling with the realities of caring for senior family members or their own senior years,” said Rona Barrett, founder of the nonprofit Rona Barrett Foundation. “There are too many unspoken mysteries around growing up and growing older. I hope my podcast will bring people of all ages together to share freely about the experience of phasing into new stages of life.”

After more than 35 years as a famed celebrity reporter, commentator and producer, Barrett has spent the past twenty years championing the need for housing and care for vulnerable seniors, as founder and CEO of the nonprofit Rona Barrett Foundation.

Barrett began her groundbreaking work at age 13, when her efforts helped launch the careers of Eddie Fisher and Steve Lawrence. In 1957, she was the youngest columnist to report on Hollywood, and her role in inaugurating Good Morning America blazed the trail for innovative entertainment reporting and for women in the media industry. Barrett has published six top-rated magazines, paving the way for Martha Stewart and Oprah Winfrey enterprises.

Barrett continues to deliver on her track record of firsts, now with the Rona Barrett Foundation, as a pioneer in affordable housing leading the organization to become an award-winning innovator of community-based housing and wellness services for low-income seniors. 2021 marks the fifth anniversary of the opening of the Foundation’s Golden Inn & Village in Santa Barbara County, as a model community that can be replicated in communities around the country.

The first series of Rona Barrett’s Gray Matters: The Podcast gives voice to stories from her acclaimed Gray Matters book and column. Episodes run about five minutes, borrowing from Barrett’s most tender moments to laugh-out-loud adventures with family, friends and career. Episode one, “The Parent to My Parent,” reveals the beginning of her new path as she cared for her own father through the first stages of Alzheimer’s disease.

“My wish is that the podcast will also bring more attention to the need for changes in housing and healthcare policy to address the crisis in senior care,” said Barrett. “And to inspire people to support our programs that give seniors in their time of need the golden years that we all deserve.”

Weekly episodes and subscription to Gray Matters: The Podcast are available at ronabarrettfoundation.org/podcast.

The Rona Barrett Foundation
The Rona Barrett Foundation is a nonprofit organization providing affordable housing and supportive services for seniors-in-need. We do this by developing, expanding, and continuing operation of care homes such as the Golden Inn & Village in Santa Ynez, California. Residents benefit from a wide range of essential care services. With dignity, respect and love, the Rona Barrett Foundation presents residents with a broad variety of programs that meets their needs and enhances their lives. Learn more at www.ronabarrettfoundation.org.

Media Contact:
Juliana Minsky
(805) 232-3410
[email protected]

Visit Center for Successful Aging
www.csasb.org

Spring / Summer 2021 - Volume 8

The Rona Barrett Foundation Quarterly Newsletter

Santa Ynez, CA - - Djamila Cabugos has joined the Board of Trustees of the Rona Barrett Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to providing affordable housing and wellness services for the elderly poor. The announcement was made at the organization’s May board meeting.

As a business leader in the Santa Ynez Valley, Djamila serves as the CEO and Founder of Canvinia, Inc., and also as the CEO of Managing Member of Sunstone Winery, where she oversees a host of management, operational and marketing responsibilities. 

In addition, she has an extensive legal professional background. Djamila served as an associate attorney with Matthew I. Berger Law Group in Carpinteria before establishing her own independent law firm in Santa Barbara, which she maintained until the end of 2019. She received her degree at the University of California, Hastings School of Law in San Francisco. She also holds a degree in Art History from the University of California at Los Angeles.

“With her legal and business background,” said Rona Barrett, Founder and CEO of the Rona Barrett Foundation, “Djamila Cabugos will be a valuable addition to our board. As our nonprofit continues to serve seniors in their time of need, her business acumen and knowledge will be tremendous assets in our future planning and fundraising endeavors.”

“So many elderly women and men have touched my life over the years,” said Djamila. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to be directly involved with an organization that does so much for this age group. Like so many others in our community, I’ve been impressed with the Foundation’s efforts to develop and build the Golden Inn & Village, the affordable independent living campus for low-income seniors.”

The Golden Inn & Village, a joint affordable housing development with the Housing Authority of the County of Santa Barbara and the Rona Barrett Foundation, opened its doors to more than 65 senior citizen residents, including veterans, in December 2016.  During the first two years, a host of wellness services, including a meal program and a senior behavioral health program, have been offered to residents at no cost. 

In late 2017, the Golden Inn & Village was awarded two National Awards of Excellence from the National Association of Housing and Redevelopment Officials (NAHRO), which included recognition of the many programs and services provided by the Rona Barrett Foundation.

Djamila and her husband, Teddy, and their family live in Santa Barbara. 

# # #

PHOTO CAPTION: Djamila Cabugos 

Contact:
Tony Morris
Director of Community Outreach & Alliances
The Rona Barrett Foundation
805-688-8887

Decades ago, when Rona Barrett first launched her on-air entertainment reporting it was on KABC-TV in Los Angeles. This week, the station did a special interview with Rona in which she discussed senior issues, the mission of the Rona Barrett Foundation and the Golden Inn & Village. Thanks for watching and for your continued support in helping seniors in need.

From what I’ve been hearing from friends and acquaintances lately, I’d say this little gem about sums up what they’ve been feeling.

It’s most often attributed to Anthony Burgess, author of “A Clockwork Orange.” But actually, it comes from his 1963 novel “Inside Mr. Enderby.” A barmaid apparently decorated her little bar with maxims like this.

And it’s very apropos to today’s column, which is an update of my 2015 column, ‘Until separate beds do us part?’

Why do an update? Because lovers, spouses and friends with benefits “... are (still) losing sleep. They are (still) waking each other up, and there is this resentment that begins to build in a relationship. If you don't address that, obviously your relationship is going to suffer, your work suffers. It's this cascade,” says Jill Lankler, a New York clinical psychologist and life coach.

This resentment can lead to remarks like, “I really enjoy the sound of my husband snoring said no woman ever.” Or “I suffer from a sleep condition. It’s called ‘my wife sounds like a snoring zombie’ when she sleeps.” Or “Why is it that the one who snores always goes to sleep first?”

But it’s not just snoring that can drive couples who share a bed crazy. There’s also body heat, restless legs, different work schedules, different sleep patterns, insomnia, or a need for personal space. And I’m sure you could add to the list.

Here’s the bottom line, though, as Dr. Mehmet Oz warns, "If you're not taking care of your sleep, you are hurting your marriage.”

So, what’s the solution? Based on what I’ve learned lately, there are a number of solutions. For snoring you can benefit from mouth and throat exercises. There’re also face exercises. And pronouncing vowel sounds. Singing can help because it activates multiple muscles in the mouth and throat and involves pronouncing diverse sounds. Go to www.sleepfoundation.org for more information.

The Internet provides information on all kinds of products to help with snoring and sleep apnea if you care to look at those possibilities.

Another possible solution says www.today.com is a ‘sleep divorce’.

Whoa. Sounds pretty drastic — and scary — doesn’t it? All it means is the couple opts to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms, depending on the issues one or both are dealing with.

In fact, a National Sleep Foundation survey found almost one in four American couples have opted to sleep in separate beds, or bedrooms.

So, how to take the next step, which is broaching the subject with your partner.

Tamara Green, a New York couples’ therapist told TODAY, to “start with letting your partner know why you love and appreciate him (or her). Use the words ‘we’ and ‘us’ instead of ‘you.’ Use phrases like, “This may work for both of us.” Make time to be together before retiring. Touch each other throughout the day. And above all, express appreciation.

When my husband thought he was waking me up too often, he said one morning, “Luv, it’s bothering me that I keep waking you up every time I get out of bed. So, I’ll sleep in the other bedroom.” It was traumatic for us both the first few nights, but it helped us both and we still love each other!

And what about intimacy? Carve out time for it, as well as a date night!

Take it from me, this new arrangement will bring about less debilitating resentment and more fortifying rest and happiness.

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

© 2021 Rona Barrett

Rona Barrett's Gray Matters™also appears in the Santa Maria Times, The Lompoc Record and Santa Ynez Valley News.

KCSB Radio News & Public Affairs Director LIsa Osborn interviews Rona Barrett on her Entertainment Career & Being an Advocate for Senior Citizens

Rona Barrett became a household name as a TV entertainment reporter - interviewing some of the biggest names in Hollywood in the 60s thru the 80s. Today, her passion is being an advocate for senior citizens.

It took her 12 years to realize her dream of opening a community for seniors the Santa Barbara County community of Santa Ynez. KCSB’s Lisa Osborn spoke with Rona Barrett about how residents at her Golden Inn and Village are coping during the coronavirus pandemic. And, how the community is invited to help keep the seniors smiling through a creative email campaign.

Toward the end of the interview Rona shares stories from her career in Entertainment, including interviewing Cher in her bedroom, how Carol Burnett gave Rona’s career a boost, and other memorable celebrity encounters.

Winter 2021 - Volume 7

The Rona Barrett Foundation Quarterly Newsletter

We lost two of the most inexhaustible and authentic actresses of their generation — Cloris Leachman and Cicely Tyson who, as you know, passed away within a day of each other in January.

There have been tributes galore for these two remarkably talented women from those who loved and respected them — whether they had the great fortune to have worked with them, were inspired by them, or were enchanted by their consummate ability to enthrall everyone who watched their indelible performances generation after generation.

I am one of those enchanted fans. I also had the privilege and honor to interview these two originals more than once. It began in the 1970s when they were well into their iconic careers. It was such a pleasure to interview each of them because what I experienced in talking with them is what we all experienced when we watched them and what made them so renowned — their honesty.

Even though they came from different parts of the country — and from different circumstances — these two ageless and acclaimed actresses had so much more in common.

They belonged to The Greatest Generation of Actors, those born between 1900 and 1930. Cicely Tyson was born in 1924 and Cloris Leachman in 1926.

Their striking physical qualities attracted a lot of attention in their twenties. Cicely was a fashion model and Cloris was crowned Miss Chicago.

Each studied acting. Cicely studied drama at New York University, Actors Studio and with theatre directors Vinnette Caroll and Lloyd Richards. Cloris studied at Northwestern University and with Elia Kazan at the famed Actors Studio in New York.

Each had film roles in the 1950s. Cloris had a leading role in the 1955 film, “Kiss Me Deadly.” Cecily’s first film role was in “Carib Gold” in 1956.

Both of their careers spanned a remarkable seven decades, moving easily from film, to theatre, to television, giving the viewer a real experience the viewer would never have had on their own. Each one could have offered a master class in originality.

Each of them received well-deserved acclaim for the depth and breadth of their roles. Cloris received 25 awards and 42 nominations, with eight primetime Emmy Awards, an Oscar and a Golden Globe, among many others. Likewise, Cicely received 49 wins and 52 nominations including an Academy Award, two Emmy awards, countless additional awards, a Tony and the Medal of Freedom presented to her by President Barak Obama.

The erudite and wonderful Sir Michael Caine must have had these two luminaries in mind when he said, “The difference between a movie star and a movie actor is this – a movie star will say, ‘How can I change the script to suit me?’ and a movie actor will say, ‘How can I change me to suit the script?’”

To my mind though, there is a wonderful alchemy that also happens when an actor transcends into a star because of their dedication to authenticity as they disappear into their roles. Cicely and Cloris were truly great actresses and brilliant stars who gave of themselves to the end.

Of their many quotes, I was struck by these two in particular:

“I’m having an amazing life and it isn’t over yet.” — Cloris

"I've done my best. That's all.” — Cicely

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

© 2021 Rona Barrett

Rona Barrett's Gray Matters™also appears in the Santa Maria Times, The Lompoc Record and Santa Ynez Valley News.

Raise your hand (mentally, of course) if you can relate to:

“Oh my gosh, I’ve finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left!”

The man who’s having a Senior PGA Moment: “Bob, I forget. Why am I walking down a fairway?” Bob says, “You’re playing golf.” He says, “Right.”

“My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it’s never found again.”

I can certainly relate and many of my friends and loved ones can two — I mean too!

Of course, these are just some of the plethora (I think that’s the word I want) of what I call, “darn my aging brain” jokes. I found these just searching “Aging Brain Jokes” on the Internet.

Do you remember the old days when our TV had to be thumped on the side to get the picture clear? Don’t you feel like doing that to your head so your brain gets clear? I certainly do. But let’s not, shall we? At least not in public, anyway.

OK, I’m kidding. But I do subscribe to the idea that ‘tis better to laugh than to cry about our brains not working as well as they used to (as frustrating as it is at times). Crying won’t make them work any better. And laughing just might. And even if it doesn’t, it could help to put our aging brains into perspective.

Actually, according to an article at www.health.harvard.edu, we should thank our aging brain.

That’s right. Our aging brains are actually working better: better judgment, better at making rational decisions, and we’re better able to screen out negativity than our juniors.

The article cites the following abilities that improve with age: inductive reasoning, verbal abilities, spatial reasoning, basic math, accentuating the positive and attaining contentment.

Who would have thought?

But from what I’ve learned lately, our abilities can improve with age, but we can’t expect them to do it all alone. We have to help.

One way is to be mindful of the medications we’re taking, because some of them can make our aging brains function worse. This includes prescription medications and over-the-counter medications. So says an article by Leslie Kernisan at https:///betterhealthwhileaging.net. She also says, “Forget about those over-the-counter products that promise better memory” because there is no evidence they actually work.

What does work is exercise, eating a Mediterranean diet including fish (not fish oil), taking Vitamin E and B vitamins — and drinking water.

“All the cells in the body, including our brain cells, depend on this water to carry out essential functions. Therefore, if water levels are too low, our brain cells cannot function properly, leading to cognitive problems.”

Adults should drink about eight cups of water a day. If we find it hard to drink a lot of water, we can also drink water infused with fruit, sparkling unsweetened flavored water, low-fat milk, or decaffeinated herbal tea.

Lettuce, celery, zucchini, watermelon, and cantaloupe are all great ways to get more water into our bodies as well.

Bottom line: we all need better habits if we want to stop thumping our heads saying, “Reboot, brain, reboot!” So, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for another glass of water.

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

© 2021 Rona Barrett
Rona Barrett's Gray Matters™also appears in the Santa Maria Times, The Lompoc Record and Santa Ynez Valley News.

In my experience, change oftentimes came when I wasn’t looking. Sometimes it was good change. Sometimes it was not so good. And sometimes it was terrible.

Terrible change came to us all on Jan. 20 of this year. That’s when a patient in Washington state was diagnosed with the most defining challenge of our time — COVID-19.

And we hardly noticed.

That is, until the numbers of those stricken and those dying began to climb and a new word was not just being said but felt: pandemic. For most of us, it’s been the most surreal year of our lives. For many of us, it’s been a year of fear, despair, and chaos.

But, as one wise woman recently said in response to the FDA approving the first COVID-19 vaccine for emergency use, we have (thankfully) now entered, “a long, slow climb toward hope.”

And as Dr. Judith Rich (www.judithrich.com) reminds us, “Having hope is important to the very act of being a human being. Hope is a match in a dark tunnel, a moment of light, just enough to reveal the path ahead and ultimately the way out.”

As I’ve watched the massive undertaking of supplies being shipped and the frontline health workers joyously receiving their first inoculations, I see that lit match. I see more smiles, more excitement, and more joy in more and more people.

Isn’t it fitting that it’s all begun to happen during the season of hope and faith? Because, as Agnes M. Pahro so movingly puts it, “Christmas is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.”

But to give us courage for the present and hope for the future, we must remain diligent against our common enemy of COVID-19. We must, for the sake of our loved ones — and those we don’t even know who have loved ones of their own — to continue to:

Wear a mask.

Watch our distance.

Wash our hands.

Because, as C.S. Lewis said, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

Here’s something else that will help to change the ending: “Do something today that your future self will thank you for.” Trust in the vaccine. And when your opportunity comes to get vaccinated — do it. I do. And I will.

Then, when the day comes — which it will — and this war is called officially over, I propose that we declare that day as CV-Day here in the United States!

Whichever day it turns out to be, it would be in tribute to the remarkable scientific achievements of what we hope will be many COVID-19 vaccines, as well as our ability to stand together with our reserve of discipline against our common enemy that has taken the lives of too many loved ones.

We’ve declared victory against foes in the past and it all started with hope. After all, it was because of hope that we ultimately became “we the people.”

So, let’s hope that our staying steadfast will ensure that when the holidays roll around next year, we’ll all be gathered with our loved ones singing together, “A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

Happy Holidays to you and yours, my dear readers!

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

This time last year I closed my Gray Matters Holiday column with these optimistic offerings:

“Celebrating life is what this season is all about ... Let us all celebrate it with as much joy and comfort as our hearts can hold. Then look forward to a new and improved 2020!”

Oops! Who could have known that 2020 would not be new nor improved, but would be so brutal on so many levels? We’re all aware that the list of what we’ve endured is too long and painful to get into so let’s not, because now — more than ever — we can use a little more cheer.

The most heartening news that will give us more than a little cheer is the herculean effort to get the new COVID-19 vaccine rolled out by Dec. 15. That is, should the FDA approve it as expected, and the group of medical experts independently verify it, says Gov. Gavin Newsom. I am hopeful that this much-needed gift will be delivered on time.

As you already know, our health-care heroes will receive the first doses. And I’m sure you’ll agree this is the best gift they could receive this year. Because we all know these big-hearted professionals have put their lives at risk without break for most of this very abnormal year. Oftentimes, they have endured without the love of family to surround them while they help millions who have unexpectedly found themselves in our at-capacity hospitals navigate this dreaded disease. And even though many of their co-workers have succumbed and they, themselves, have been threatened, these heroes continue to help those many thousands who have lost their fight to pass away with dignity and humanity.

Dignity and humanity. These are precious gifts. I’d add faith to the list. And security. Comfort and joy. Courage. Trust. Respect. Patience. We need to add to our list, checking it twice, and giving these gifts to everyone — whether they’re naughty or nice.

And while we’re at it, we could give ourselves a cup of cheer (as that old song says) if we (as another old song says) “haul out the holly ... put up the tree ... fill up the stockings ... deck the halls ... turn on the brightest string of lights ... slice up the fruitcake ... and hang some tinsel on the evergreen bough.”

“For [we’ve] grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, grown a little older, and [we] need a little angel sitting on [our] shoulder ...[we] need a little music, need a little laugher, need a little singing ringing through the rafter ... [we] need a little Christmas now.”

Or Hanukkah! Or Kwanzaa!

What’s important dear friends, is this year, especially, we let the magic of the season into our hearts as best we can.

Because there is finally some good news out there to celebrate! COVID-19’s days will begin to dwindle soon. I know, it can’t happen soon enough.

But this is for certain I’m sure you’ll agree: We won’t take for granted a disease-free year ever again.

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

This little-known story will be filed under one of my favorite headings: “It takes a woman ... ”

It was 1863, during the Civil War, when Sarah Josepha Hale, the author of “Mary’s Lamb” of “Mary Had a Little Lamb” fame, helped to convince President Abraham Lincoln that a national Thanksgiving holiday would help heal wounds from the Civil War.

Mrs. Hale was a widow with five children. She was also a prominent writer and editor, one of the founders of the “American Ladies Magazine,” a committed advocate for women’s education — including the creation of Vassar College — and who also raised funds to save George Washington’s Mount Vernon estate.

Interestingly, the idea of a national Thanksgiving had been around since the American Revolution with the Continental Congress issuing proclamations declaring several days of thanks, albeit in honor of military victories. George Washington, John Adams and James Madison followed suit.

But it was Mrs. Hale, after advocating it for years in her magazine articles, who wrote to President Lincoln and Secretary of State William Seward. She urged them to declare a national Thanksgiving holiday because only the president had the power to make it “permanently, an American custom and institution.” Whether predisposed to the idea or not, the president and his secretary made it happen within a week.

Ramona Peters, in a Voice of America article at www.voanews.com says, “... their brainchild to have this national holiday called Thanksgiving ... was a pretty smart move to establish something to unite families ... split down the middle, brothers against brothers.”

Adding to those brothers’ misery was the predominant illnesses of pneumonia, typhoid, dysentery, and malaria. Of the 600,000 soldiers who died, two thirds died from disease.

Sadly, we are facing uncannily similar circumstances: split down the middle, battling disease and losing lives.

But let’s not forget that we’ve gotten through the worst of times before. We’ve lived through many a war here and abroad. We’ve suffered individually and collectively all manner of losses. Yet through all our hardship and tragedy, we’ve looked forward to, and were grateful for, our yearly day of thanks — wherever we found ourselves — among family, friends, or even strangers.

I know you have a long list of who and what you’re thankful for. And I know you’ll take the time to let your loved ones know, whether in person or virtually. Imagine if we didn’t have the virtual capability to celebrate while going through what we’re going through. That’s something to be thankful for, isn’t it?

My thankful list is long as well. Here’s a sampling:

I’m 84 and still have my faculties — most of them — most of the time.

My very smart, loving husband.

My two fabulous nephews who check in on me when they have better things to do.

My “udder mudders,” guardian angels who have always given me fortitude, confidence and insight.

Bessie Little who taught me the dos and don'ts of writing.

Everyone who has donated $1 to the Golden Inn & Village’s efforts to build a better future for our seniors’ golden years.

Our GIV volunteers.

Those who wear masks.

COVID-19 vaccines.

Sarah Josepha Hale, our “Mother of Thanksgiving.”

And you, dear readers.

May this Thanksgiving give you and yours, for at least one day, a modicum of peace of mind.

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

Whew! Now might be a good time to take a pause and breathe. All together now: Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Feel a little bit better? I hope so. Because this small act of pausing and breathing can help us to face our daily challenges — which are plenty!

Individually, our challenges are to take care of ourselves and our loved ones.

Collectively, we must face the challenges of living through this pandemic.

And, if that’s not enough, we must also face the challenges of living through what has probably been the most contentious and fraught election of our lifetimes. Which means by the time you read this, regardless of how we voted, chances are half of us are probably not very happy at the moment.

But I’ve always thought that if I want to feel happy, I must give myself something to laugh about or even just to smile about. Here’s a book that makes me smile: “Live and Learn and Pass It On – People ages 5 to 95 share what they’ve discovered about life, love, and other good stuff” by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.:

“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be a pain.” — Age 82

“I’ve learned that if I’m in trouble at school, I’m in more trouble at home.” — Age 11

“I’ve learned that a mule dressed in a tuxedo is still a mule.” — Age 80

“I’ve learned that if you laugh and drink soda pop at the same time, it will come out your nose. — Age 7

“I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there. — Age 29

“I’ve learned that there are four ages of men: (1)when you believe in Santa Claus, (2) when you don’t believe in Santa Claus, (3) when you are Santa Claus, and (4) when you look like Santa Claus” — Age 51

Quite a lot of wisdom along with the humor, don’t you think?

And speaking of wisdom, here’s another little book I’ve come across: “Mental Floss.” Just the name itself is funny. The subtitle is “Rx: For optimum mental hygiene, practice flossing the mind daily to eliminate the accumulation and retention of debris, disease and decay caused by a lifetime of stinkin’ thinkin.’” by Dr. Marilyn Gellis. Here’s a few examples:

“What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.”

“The difficulties of life are intended to make us better — not bitter.”

And she cites what’s been said to us by all of our mothers: “Careful what you wish for, you’re liable to get it.”

And speaking of mothers, one of my favorite memories that always makes me laugh is when my mother and I would shop at an old department store called Kleins. When she saw a dress she wanted, it was always too much money. So, she decided she would move it to a lower priced rack. It eventually wound up being marked down to $10, which was her top price. She did this over and over again because it worked!

Breathing, smiling, and laughing will help us face our challenges — now and in the future.

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

We’ve had to make some really tough decisions in our lives, haven’t we? They didn’t seem so tough to make when we were young and full of ourselves, though, were they? But as we’ve grown older, we can now look back and see the consequences of those decisions.

Personally, I’d love the opportunity to go back and rethink some of them. Of course, none of us can go back. But we can go forward. And the way we can do that is to carefully think through our decisions now. That’s a plus for living as long as we have, isn’t it?

One decision I would never change is to build a better future for all our seniors. That’s what I keep in the forefront of my brain as I continue to carefully think through my tough decisions.

And now here we are, in the midst of an election season that is fraught with anxiety like none of us have probably never experienced.

For some of us, this may be the last election we have the opportunity to cast our vote. Some seniors realize this fact and others don’t. Either way, how we have already voted or will vote will determine not only our own future, but the future of our loved ones, our friends, our country and our world.

It gets really tough when we think beyond ourselves, isn’t it?

Today as always, the central question of our lives is who do we trust? And how does our answer effect our future? Will it be a positive effect or a negative effect?

I know there are some battered souls out there who think it would be easy to just give up and not vote at all. Or to think one voice doesn’t matter so why bother to vote. Either stance would be the biggest mistake we could make.

But far be it for me to tell you how to vote. What I would hope I’m doing is to impress on you is to think your vote through carefully.

And I’m not just talking about the top of the ticket. The down ballot battles and propositions we’re voting on need our careful thinking as well. Each decision we make may individually have a small impact, but collectively they will make a big impact – whether it’s positive or negative.

And on a chilly morning in January only one man will take the oath of the office of the president of the United States:

“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

There’s an illuminating article at www.lawfareblog.com that gives us an important perspective on these 35 words:

“It is that the presidential oath is actually the glue that holds together many of our system’s functional assumptions about the presidency and the institutional reactions to it among actors from judges to bureaucrats to the press...”

Depending on our perspective, it’s an easy decision or a tough decision. But we must take responsibility for it. So, if you haven’t already – VOTE!

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.

Every year, CommUnify, formerly known as the Community Action Commission of Santa Barbara County, recognizes extraordinary people and organizations that have helped improve the lives of children, youth, families and seniors in local communities. This year, CommUnify selected two individuals and one business for its 15th annual Champions Awards.

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, CommUnify canceled its customary fundraising dinner and presentation. Instead, it hosted an outdoor event on Wednesday with built-in social distancing — an evening with a live auction, drawings, a vintage car show and a specially prepared dinner at the West Wind Drive-In in Goleta.

More than 200 guests registered for the outdoor benefit event. The 2020 CommUnify Champions were feted on the big screen with a video created in their honor and moderated by David Bolton.

The three honorees were:

Rona Barrett is a well-known entertainment reporter, commentator and producer who is now a champion for seniors at the Golden Inn & Village, a housing and wellness campus that she founded for low-income adults in Santa Ynez.

Champions Award recipient Rona Barrett. (Janene Scully / Noozhawk photo)

“This is a wonderful award that recognizes what I have been doing for seniors in this county," Barrett said. "I owe a lot to my late father, who lived with me for the last 10 years of his life. This set my course in building affordable housing for seniors and to make something better for someone else.”

Jim Glines is a co-founder, and now chairman, of the Community Bank of Santa Maria. He frequently donates his time and talent as an auctioneer to help community nonprofit organizations. He has twice received Citizen of the Year awards from community organizations in Santa Maria.

“Seniors are important," Glines said. "They are the ones who laid the path for us, instructed us and were our role models. Now we need to make their lives better and make them more comfortable — that is what we should be doing.”

The Towbes Group is a local development and property management company that has made philanthropy an integral part of its mission and core business practices, which include investment in the Give Where You Live and Towbes Grants programs.

Jim Carrillo accepted the award on screen on behalf of The Towbes Group.

“The mission of The Towbes Group is to create communities where people thrive," Carrillo said. "We strive to go back into the community to make it a better place to live. We are so grateful to CommUnify for their programs, especially the senior nutrition program.”

Pre-film festivities included a vintage car show, and oldies music by Santa Barbara's DJ Darla Bea. Sponsor Bunnin Chevrolet showcased a white 2020 Corvette.

The nostalgic evening featured a screening of the classic Alfred Hitchcock film "North by Northwest" starring actor Cary Grant and a 1950s-style meal prepared on site by Santa Barbara Catering. Guests could choose from menu choices of a beef burger, a beef hot dog, grilled chicken breast, a veggie burger, or a caesar salad with caprese. The boxed meals were delivered to vehicles by volunteer car hops.

The Champions event raises funds to support the agency’s Senior Nutrition Program. It's a home delivery initiative that serves more than 700 daily meals to housebound residents from Guadalupe to Carpinteria.

“We had to pivot from providing meals for seniors at 13 community sites to delivering to individual doorsteps, which significantly increased our costs for drivers and fuel," CommUnify CEO Patricia Keelean. "Last year, we provided 155,000 meals for $1.6 million. We will serve significantly more people in 2020 and need $2 million to meet the current need. Since the COVID-19 health crisis began, requests for senior meals have increased by 68 percent.”

CenCal Health was the event’s $100,000 Diamond Sponsor. For every dollar raised, CenCal Health matched that amount up to $100,000.

“This matching fund opportunity, in combination with the support of our other sponsors, helps move us closer to our fundraising goal of $875,000,” said Linda Rosso, CommUnify’s director of development. “This is an unprecedented amount to raise, more than double last year’s goal, but these are unprecedented times.

"There are hungry seniors in our community. They can’t be forgotten.”

Other sponsors included Yardi, the Santa Barbara Foundation, The Towbes Group, The Towbes Foundation, the Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Indians, Deckers Brands, BB&H Benefit Designs and Lois Moore.

Honoree Glines pulled double duty as he commandeered the live auction with the assistance of his son, also named Jim. They raised significant dollars from bidders.

Beginning with its incorporation as a private nonprofit organization in 1967, the Community Action Commission provided Head Start education to preschool children and their families, and then expanded its services and reach into the community with high-quality care and learning experiences for children ages 0 to 5, including Head Start; job training, education and mentoring for teens and young adults; leadership, involvement and educational opportunities for parents; healthy daily meals for children and seniors; improvements that make homes warmer, safer and more energy-efficient; and a free, confidential community helpline (Santa Barbara County 2-1-1) operating 24/7.

Click here for more information about CommUnify, or call 805.964.8857.

Life just isn’t the same right now, is it? It’s just one thing after another to have to cope with. Everything is so much more complicated than ever. It’s all very overwhelming. Don’t you wish we could all just go back to our good ole days when we had everything figured out?

Well, you know as well as I know that’s not going to happen.

So, the question becomes: What can we do to alleviate this turmoil to help us regain our ability to contribute to our country’s “common good”?

You remember common good from your long-ago civics class, don’t you?

Some examples of common good from www.plato.stanford.edu include: “the road system; public parks; police protection and public safety; courts and the judicial system; public schools; museums and cultural institution; public transportation; civil liberties, such as the freedom of speech and the freedom of association; the system of property; clean air and clean water; and national defense.”

Here’s what www.dictionary.com says is the best definition of common good: “The advantage or benefit of all people in society or in a group. Here’s how to use it in a sentence: In spite of our differences, we shall work for the common good.”

Sounds good and logical, doesn’t it?Here’s what www.britannica has to say on the subject: “The notion of the common good has been a consistent theme in Western political philosophy, most notably in the work of Aristotle, Niccolò Machiavelli, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau. It has been most clearly developed in the political theory of republicanism, which has contended that the common good is something that can only be achieved through political means and the collective action of citizens participating in their own self-government. At the same time, the notion of the common good has been closely bound up with the idea of citizenship, a mutual commitment to common goods and the value of political action as public service. Therefore, it has played a prominent role in the defense of republican constitutional arrangements, notably the defense of the Constitution of the United States in the Federalist papers.”

And speaking of the Constitution, remember the Preamble? “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

“The stated goal is to create a government that will meet the needs of the people” says the National Constitution Center, an online site offering opportunities to learn more up close and personal about the greatest document the world has ever produced.

There’s so much more information out there and I sincerely hope you’ll take the time and effort to explore all options including the Internet, reading books, listening to relevant podcasts, and watching informational TV programs. That way we will all be prepared to answer the question:

What can we do to alleviate this turmoil to help us regain our ability to contribute to our country’s common good? We will answer:

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...” will VOTE.

Until next time ... keep thinking the good thoughts.