By Rona Barrett
What better time to write about fears of aging than during the countdown to All Hallows Eve?
I’ll tell you about mine in a moment. But first, ask yourself about your own greatest fears of getting older. Then see how they compare to a survey conducted by the Home Instead Senior Care network.
Their top five was: loss of independence, declining health, running out of money, not being able to live at home, and the death of a spouse or other family member.
Three of mine I thought would be in the top five were not: fear of falling, losing the privilege of driving, and not being able to physically do what I was once able to do.
We’re all old enough to laugh at our paranoia about growing older, so let’s not let aging get us down. Besides, it’s way too hard to get back up these days!
So, in the spirit of Halloween, here are a few fears about aging that could very well drive us all quite “batty”:
The day that instead of looking forward to going to a hip joint – we get one implanted.
The day WE are the ones who leave money for the Tooth Fairy – because we’d rather have our teeth back!
The day we need someone to give us a push start in the rocking chair.
The day we knock on wood for good luck then get up to find out who’s at the door.
The day we go to one of those restaurants promising lunch served in 15 minutes or less – and they ask us to pay in advance!
The day it takes us more time to find what we need to get going (glasses, keys, purse) than the time it actually takes to get to where we are going.
The day the closest thing we get to flattery is when our doctor tells us we have acute disease.
The day we ask a younger person if they believe “we can talk to the dead.” And they assure us they can hear us just fine.
The day someone tells us they can see kindness, strength and wisdom in our faces – but that’s only because they’re reading between the lines!
And for my male friends – the day when you meet that special someone and ask, “Where have you been all my life?” And they tell you that for the first half of your life they weren’t even born yet!
The day we realize we’re taking regular naps during the day – while we’re driving!
The day “change of life” refers to the adult diapers we’re wearing.
The day we finally have a clear conscience – but only because our memory is failing us.
The day when we take great pride in keeping up with the times by reading the newspaper, until we realize we’re reading the “30 years ago today” column.
So as this bizarre holiday approaches, I hope we all eat, “boos” it up and that all our witches come true.
Until next time…keep thinking the good thoughts.
— For more than 30 years, Rona Barrett was a pioneering entertainment reporter, commentator and producer. Since 2000, she has focused her attention and career on the growing crisis of housing and support for our aging population. She is the founder and CEO of the Rona Barrett Foundation, the catalyst behind Santa Ynez Valley’s first affordable senior housing, the Golden Inn & Village. Contact her at [email protected]. The opinions expressed are her own.
