RONA BARRETT’S GRAY MATTERS
She cared for my home and she cared for my parents.
She loved me and I loved her for over 40 years.
She refused to move with us when we came to the Valley because she didn’t want to leave her church.
She suffered from rheumatoid arthritis. Every few weeks I went to check on her in her small HUD apartment in L.A. When she began to go in and out of the hospital with emergency situations, I pleaded with her to at least let me move her into a facility where she could be taken care of on a daily basis. But she always said, “Nope! If I die I want to die right here!”
She said a few weeks ago, “I think I’m going to die I hurt so much.” I immediately went to see what I could do. She said she was fine and wanted to buy a new couch. So we did.
She had a heart attack in the middle of the night two weeks ago, collapsing on her kitchen floor trying to get to her phone.
She was found two days later.
She was 86 years old.
According to HUD we had 14 days to close up her apartment.
I spent Labor Day sorting through her belongings and cleaning her apartment.
Eighteen large, black trash bags later and without written guidance from my friend as to what to do with her treasures, her jewelry, clothing—and her furniture, I contacted “gojunkfree.com” whose Website indicates they “recycle or reuse over 80% of the items [they] pick up and donate thousands of dollars worth of goods to charities every year…”
Clearing out her apartment was step one. There were many steps after that had to be completed.
She did make a will, and she did buy a plot through her church—but no funeral package. It was up to me to make cemetery decisions and mortuary decisions on the fly. Multiple death certificates had to be ordered. The myriad decisions and tasks became overwhelming.
Her death makes me realize that we are NEVER too young or NEVER too old to get our lives in order.
She and I were very lucky to have each other in our lives. There are many though with no spouse, child, or friend.
If you are an orphaned senior, there are resources for you. Contact our Area Agency on Aging at centralcoastseniors.org or at 805-921-9554.
Go Online and Google: Elder Orphans. There are conversations and help galore for those who will take advantage of them.
If you know an orphaned senior who may not be aware of these helpful resources, please let them know about them.
She has been buried. We will hold a service when her marker arrives. I don’t think there will be many attending. All of her friends from her Church are gone, save her Pastor.
She was a beautiful soul and a wonderful friend. That’s what her marker will read.
Until next time…keep thinking the good thoughts.
— For more than 30 years, Rona Barrett was a pioneering entertainment reporter, commentator and producer. Since 2000, she has focused her attention and career on the growing crisis of housing and support for our aging population. She is the founder and CEO of the Rona Barrett Foundation, the catalyst behind Santa Ynez Valley’s first affordable senior housing, the Golden Inn & Village. Contact her [email protected]. The opinions expressed are her own.
