One of the greatest gifts we can give the elderly is our time. If you have ever visited a nursing home or adult care center you will understand what I mean. Often these residents are alone, sitting in a corner seemingly forgotten as they wait for someone to arrive—someone to talk to them and recognize them as important valuable members of our society. It’s heartbreaking.
Visiting a lonely senior—especially those with mobility issues or who are homebound is a gift to them beyond our comprehension. And the best part is all that is required is our compassion. It will also make your day too!
Rona’s Warriors is more of a call-out to serve than a formal program. My hope is to encourage young people—or not so young people—across the country to visit a senior care facility in their community and volunteer. Volunteers may be required to go through a training program and some screening, but it will definitely be worth it.
So whether its to fill community service hours at your high school, or just a strong desire to help and serve those who have done so much for us, consider volunteering at a senior care facility in your community. Become one of my Warriors and fight for the dignity and happiness of our country’s elderly population.
…And I want to hear your stories. I want to know who my warriors are out there! Please email me and let me know how you’ve helped made a world of difference in a senior’s life. I’ll post some of them at my website which I’m sure will inspire others to become involved as well.
Just a cursory glance leads me to ask; Where were you when I needed you!
I was a caregiver for my mother with Alzheimer’s and lost everything from my home, to my job, to my 401k trying to save her and her assets from my family who never helped me support her over 20 years, and yet were there to close in on the assets when she had to be placed in a home. It was a nightmare. I had to go through three court battles, was investigated by APS and the police for alleged abuse my family accused me of, which the court gladly cleared me of and had to petition the court for a public guardian for mom because I just couldn’t fight anymore. Happily the court agreed with me that my family shouldn’t be in control of mom’s body or finances. Currently, at the age of 49, I am renting a room from a friend in Texas as I had to leave my life in California last year and mom behind in a nursing home (one of the hardest things I have ever had to do) and I am starting over. Anyway, so glad you are doing this and when I am employed somewhere, I will donate and do what I can to help. Bravo you!
Deanna D.
~
Hi Ms. Barrett,
I viewed you on Larry King the other night, you are both so wonderful. I saw that you were in Santa Ynez, my mom is in Solvang Lutheran Home and I visit regularly. I walk up there in the evenings from my house in Solvang. I was there tonight and was the only one visiting.
I have made deals with local high school kids to edit their high school history video projects and in return they visit my mom and folks at the home. In all fairness, they do go to say hi and leave flowers, but nothing equivalent to the work I do for them.
I am not looking for a story here. It is my mom, but it is a huge unforgotten story. Our family, but us also. When will we be sitting there forgotten?
Best,
Stig Andersen
~
Dear Rona,
I saw you on the news and read about your foundation online. I am impressed and thankful that you are helping seniors in so many ways. I took care of my own mother for five years when she had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. She was under sixty and didn’t qualify for many benefits…it was frustrating. I love your idea and would eventually love to do something similar. I still have a child at home, but maybe one day I will be able to do more to help. What are you finding seniors most in need of?
By the way, check out puzzlestoremember.org. A 14-year-old boy began this organization for seniors.
God bless,
Lisa Herda
~
Dear Ms. Barrett,
Having just watched a short video clip online about your advocacy for low-income seniors I wanted to say “THANK YOU” for taking a stand. While I am only 53 years old, I personally experienced a similar situation as you did when your father did not know who you were. In my case, it was my grandmother who raised me. The only mother I ever really knew, it was heartbreaking when she first suffered several strokes. Sadly enough, dementia eventually set in on this once loving, vibrant lady.
I lost my dad some 4 years ago to brain cancer, and was fortunate enough to have been at his bedside when he passed. I am not sure if you’ll ever read this message personally, but it’s my hope that you will. To you and your work for these people I say “BRAVO! BRAVO!” You obviously have a big heart and a caring one at that.
Blessings,
Richard Aulds
~
Hi Rona,
I saw a wonderful piece about your organization on television tonight and I was inspired to google you! After viewing your website, I decided I had to send you a note.
I am a professional photographer here in Boston and I have been inspired to photograph elders ever since I was visiting a 91 year old, who was still a very active photographer. I was amazed that he was out taking photos with a big old box camera, working in the darkroom and photographing in the studio as well. I became curious and wanted to speak with him about his life and his photos. He kindly allowed me to photograph and interview him. From this moment, I began to photograph elders.
I believe, as you do, in recognizing, giving voice and listening to our elders. Since, I have been photographing and interviewing elders, I have found a wonderful wealth of wisdom, history and story that are inspiring and I hope allows them to be seen and heard. I am saddened at how overlooked this period of life is. The initial response of many subjects is, “I have nothing to say.”
If you have any ideas on how I can expand my venture in photographing elders, please let me know. Please take a moment to view my web site www.millicentharvey.com and the very first section is called “elders.” I would greatly value and appreciate your feedback on my idea.
I envy that you live in the Santa Ynez valley. I was there this year for the first time and I fell in love! My dream is to live their one day!
Thanks so much for reading my note and I so admire the work that you are
doing.
Best,
Millicent
~
Dear Ms. Barrett,
Thank you for your wonderful work. I had being caring for my mother for 2 months shy of seven years. My best friend passed away Monday, June 28. She was stricken with Alzheimer’s and it has always made me very angry that this country forgets its elderly in favor of so much unimportant junk. We can put men on the Moon be we cannot find cures or good assistance for people with Alzheimer’s or many of the other terrible diseases the elder and young, for that matter face.
I could take your time up with explaining how completely wonderful my mother is but you would just figure, “what else would her son say?” So I will not indulge myself. But I will tell you of a little organization in Green Bay, Wisconsin that provided my mother with unbelievably wonderful care 3 to 4 mornings each week. This also helped me as her sole caregiver, to get many things done, that otherwise would have had to be postponed or forgotten. Mom got to sing and and get a cute little prize or do some art work. I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
This organization is called ‘”The Cloud Family Care Center.” If you or your organization is looking to acknowledge places like this, well this should be one at the top of your list. It is doubtful if I would have been able to care for my Mom and have her live at home until she passed if it were not for this organization and the people that staff it. They do so many wonderful things you might want to find out what and how they do it.
Please consider giving them some praise for all their wonderful work.
Respectfully,
Stephen F. Kurowski
Green Bay, Wisconsin
~
Ms. Rona,
I was a full-time caregiver to my Mother for almost the last decade until her recent passing in February. My Mom was diagnosed with a neurological disorder called: Cortico Basal Ganglionic Degeneration; is easily described as a combination of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. I am very frustrated how ill prepared this country is to assist the elderly, so I am very happy to see someone with your status being so giving, Thank You! I saw a story on your Foundation on an evening news show and am sad to say it is the first I heard of it; maybe it is because I am on the east coast. I wish there were more that had the ability to give, that would give to our elderly, but they may have not been personnally affected.
I don’t feel society has a good understanding of what it is to be a caregiver and therefore, the support both emotionally and financially, is just not there for either the elderly or the caregivers. I am currently an active duty Coast Guard member and even had a hard time with the organization’s Work-Life Program to understand my situation because having a military member caring for a special needs parent was not common. I was very fortunate that the people I worked for understood and respected my situation, but it was difficult having to transfer every few years and worrying that the next boss may not be so understanding.
I continue to go to the assisted living that my Mom lived in the last 10 months of her life; it seems some of the residents remember my face, but not necessarily who I am. I am sad to say there are several that don’t have active families in their care; I visited my Mom daily and brought her home often.
My Mom was my world and I miss her dearly; I had to see her decline instead of her being able to enjoy her golden years, so I feel your pain of when your Father didn’t know your name…I am sorry!
Again, thank you for all that you are doing!
Sincerely,
Kristi Nadler
~
Rona,
Was on the net and saw the story about your one woman show “Nothing But The Truth”. I remember you from the 70’s reading your columns and seeing you on tv. Seeing your name intrigued me to read the story. Sounds like your show is great, hope that I could sometime see it. The story mentioned The Rona Barrett Foundation and I proceded to look for info on that. I think it is WONDERFUL!
A little background on me: I was born with Spina Bifida and am in a wheelchair, but have all my life tried to tend for myself as much as possible. My Father owned his own business(a chipboard box maker), and growing up, we all(Brother and Mother)helped him with the business which he started in 1960. About 10 years ago, my Dad had a heart attack and we had to close the business, mainly because I myself could not continue the business on my own(because of my condition, I could not work the machines, and there really wasn’t anyone that wanted to help continue it so I really didn’t have much choice).
Both my parents are in their 80’s. After my Dads attack, I moved back home to help my Mom care for my Dad. My Dad is diabetic, has congestive heart failure, and cataracts in both eyes among other things. My Brother was born with downs syndrome and can’t really help much plus he also has diabetes. My Mom has osteoporosis and arthritis. So as you can guess we have our hands full. But you know what? We are all together and I feel so lucky that I’ve had the opportunity to care for both of my parents and just be with them! It hasn’t been easy, but I wouldn’t want to have done anything different. My Mom still has it tough though because even with the little help I provide she has to make both my Dad and Brother breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do shopping, etc etc etc. During the day she doesn’t have to worry about my Dad too much because I will go lay down with him, keep him company and help him with whatever he needs. At night, I will help my Dad with whatever he might need so that my Mom can sleep. I sleep a little during the day while I’m with my Dad and he wakes me if he needs anything.
The last time my Dad was in the hospital for an extended amount of time(about 2 years ago) they suggested putting him in a home. My Mom did not want to and I certainly didn’t want that, so here we are. My Dad is bed ridden, he can get up but with a lot of help, he also uses a wheelchair, but with my Moms condition we don’t get him up as much as we would like especially since we have so much nice weather in California. Whenever my Dad is in the hospital, I stay with him because when he is there he has bouts of dementia…not good. Luckily thank God its not too often. In spite of it all my Dad is always smiling, never complains and never says “no” when asked if he wants to do anything. Please know that what I do for them, it’s not because they’re my parents and I feel like I “have” to do it. I do it because I really want to do it and If I didn’t have my parents I would still love to be around seniors and help them however I could. I think with what I’ve gone through with my parents, I’ve gained a special affection(I don’t know if that’s the right word) to help seniors, and keep them company. As soon as I can, I will donate whatever I can to your Foundation because I think it is a wonderful thing and don’t really think that seniors get the appreciation that they deserve. Thank you so so much for what you are doing!
“Friend to Seniors”
~
Dear Rona,
Many years ago, when you had a television variety show on Saturday evenings I believe, I was one of the lucky ones, whose mail got picked for the ‘Electronic Mailbag’ segment. I’m sure you do not remember me; however, I just really wanted to tell you what a ‘Wonderful’ experience that was for me at that time in my life. My Question was for actor ‘Paul-Michael-Glaser,” formerly from the cops TV show ‘Starsky & Hutch.’
Thank you or your show for choosing my letter back then. We need more TV shows like that now…
I am now 52 and from 2003 – 2006, I became a caregiver for my mom, who was a stroke survivor. Sadly she passed away on Christmas Day 2006. The last 6 months of her life, I had to quit my full time job and become a full time caregiver for her. I refused to place her in a nursing home, where she would waste away.
She had to be in one, a nursing home, for 3 months due to a fall she had, and doctors had to insert a rod into her thigh. From Jan 14, 2005 to the day she passed, she was wheel chair bound. I am glad she was only restricted in a wheelchair for that amount of time because up until she fell, she was very active. She also had early stages of dementia. Though she always knew who she was and could remember everyone else, the disease did cause her personality to change somewhat.
But, what I want to share with your readers who may be still caring for their loved ones, never let your loved ones give up. I know firsthand how hard this is. My own mother was limited as to what she could do. Before she became ill, her passion in life was to care for her family. She loved to cook and was an awesome cook at that (I still miss her meals), but I still let her help me in the kitchen. She did what she could. We would also sit and play the children’s board game “Memory”, which is a very helpful game tool for the elderly… and the young at heart.
I wanted her to express her emotions. We tried coloring, but she use to get upset that she could not stay in the lines. So then I gave her a large scrape pad and paints. I said, “Let yourself go, you don’t have to worry about staying in the lines…,” and she’d paint away… I also used to hang up what she would paint… She used to love to read, but then her eyesight became poor. I am not sure if some of your readers know that most public libraries offer the “SOS Program,” where they will deliver free materials right to a person’s doorstep, whether they live in their own home or an apartment. Then when they are finished, all people have to do is put back the materials that were sent (books, DVDs, CDs, even magazines) in a blue zipper bag, and turn the mail card around, place the zip tie around the zipper, and leave for their mail person to pick up. It is an awesome service the library provides.
So, I turned my mom onto audio books and she loved listening to her style of music, Dean Martin,
Frank Sinatra, Bobby Darin, etc. with the CD player I had gotten for her.
I also treated her with respect; after all, though she was ill, she was still my mom. I also tried to give her some independence, like I asked if she would be alright while I went to get the mail… I was never gone long, but I’d give her some peace, even though she could not do what she use to do. She was still her own person.
I know now what they mean by saying care giving can be so rewarding and at the same time, be so frustrating. But, if I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat because I developed a special bond with my mom that my older siblings can’t touch. She was my best friend, and I miss her every day… Thank you for letting me share my story… This letter is dedicated to my mom (Dolly Whistler) and all the caregivers who are caring for their loved ones… Never give up… it is worth it.
Rona’s Warriors
ABOUT THE FOUNDATION | Rona’s Warriors | How to Donate | Book Rona for your event
Fighting for Dignity and Compassion
One of the greatest gifts we can give the elderly is our time. If you have ever visited a nursing home or adult care center you will understand what I mean. Often these residents are alone, sitting in a corner seemingly forgotten as they wait for someone to arrive—someone to talk to them and recognize them as important valuable members of our society. It’s heartbreaking.
Visiting a lonely senior—especially those with mobility issues or who are homebound is a gift to them beyond our comprehension. And the best part is all that is required is our compassion. It will also make your day too!
Rona’s Warriors is more of a call-out to serve than a formal program. My hope is to encourage young people—or not so young people—across the country to visit a senior care facility in their community and volunteer. Volunteers may be required to go through a training program and some screening, but it will definitely be worth it.
So whether its to fill community service hours at your high school, or just a strong desire to help and serve those who have done so much for us, consider volunteering at a senior care facility in your community. Become one of my Warriors and fight for the dignity and happiness of our country’s elderly population.
…And I want to hear your stories. I want to know who my warriors are out there! Please email me and let me know how you’ve helped made a world of difference in a senior’s life. I’ll post some of them at my website which I’m sure will inspire others to become involved as well.
From the bottom of my heart, Thank you!
Email me at [email protected]
~
Hi Rona,
Just a cursory glance leads me to ask; Where were you when I needed you!
I was a caregiver for my mother with Alzheimer’s and lost everything from my home, to my job, to my 401k trying to save her and her assets from my family who never helped me support her over 20 years, and yet were there to close in on the assets when she had to be placed in a home. It was a nightmare. I had to go through three court battles, was investigated by APS and the police for alleged abuse my family accused me of, which the court gladly cleared me of and had to petition the court for a public guardian for mom because I just couldn’t fight anymore. Happily the court agreed with me that my family shouldn’t be in control of mom’s body or finances. Currently, at the age of 49, I am renting a room from a friend in Texas as I had to leave my life in California last year and mom behind in a nursing home (one of the hardest things I have ever had to do) and I am starting over. Anyway, so glad you are doing this and when I am employed somewhere, I will donate and do what I can to help. Bravo you!
Deanna D.
~
Hi Ms. Barrett,
I viewed you on Larry King the other night, you are both so wonderful. I saw that you were in Santa Ynez, my mom is in Solvang Lutheran Home and I visit regularly. I walk up there in the evenings from my house in Solvang. I was there tonight and was the only one visiting.
I have made deals with local high school kids to edit their high school history video projects and in return they visit my mom and folks at the home. In all fairness, they do go to say hi and leave flowers, but nothing equivalent to the work I do for them.
I am not looking for a story here. It is my mom, but it is a huge unforgotten story. Our family, but us also. When will we be sitting there forgotten?
Best,
Stig Andersen
~
Dear Rona,
I saw you on the news and read about your foundation online. I am impressed and thankful that you are helping seniors in so many ways. I took care of my own mother for five years when she had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. She was under sixty and didn’t qualify for many benefits…it was frustrating. I love your idea and would eventually love to do something similar. I still have a child at home, but maybe one day I will be able to do more to help. What are you finding seniors most in need of?
By the way, check out puzzlestoremember.org. A 14-year-old boy began this organization for seniors.
God bless,
Lisa Herda
~
Dear Ms. Barrett,
Having just watched a short video clip online about your advocacy for low-income seniors I wanted to say “THANK YOU” for taking a stand. While I am only 53 years old, I personally experienced a similar situation as you did when your father did not know who you were. In my case, it was my grandmother who raised me. The only mother I ever really knew, it was heartbreaking when she first suffered several strokes. Sadly enough, dementia eventually set in on this once loving, vibrant lady.
I lost my dad some 4 years ago to brain cancer, and was fortunate enough to have been at his bedside when he passed. I am not sure if you’ll ever read this message personally, but it’s my hope that you will. To you and your work for these people I say “BRAVO! BRAVO!” You obviously have a big heart and a caring one at that.
Blessings,
Richard Aulds
~
Hi Rona,
I saw a wonderful piece about your organization on television tonight and I was inspired to google you! After viewing your website, I decided I had to send you a note.
I am a professional photographer here in Boston and I have been inspired to photograph elders ever since I was visiting a 91 year old, who was still a very active photographer. I was amazed that he was out taking photos with a big old box camera, working in the darkroom and photographing in the studio as well. I became curious and wanted to speak with him about his life and his photos. He kindly allowed me to photograph and interview him. From this moment, I began to photograph elders.
I believe, as you do, in recognizing, giving voice and listening to our elders. Since, I have been photographing and interviewing elders, I have found a wonderful wealth of wisdom, history and story that are inspiring and I hope allows them to be seen and heard. I am saddened at how overlooked this period of life is. The initial response of many subjects is, “I have nothing to say.”
If you have any ideas on how I can expand my venture in photographing elders, please let me know. Please take a moment to view my web site www.millicentharvey.com and the very first section is called “elders.” I would greatly value and appreciate your feedback on my idea.
I envy that you live in the Santa Ynez valley. I was there this year for the first time and I fell in love! My dream is to live their one day!
Thanks so much for reading my note and I so admire the work that you are
doing.
Best,
Millicent
~
Dear Ms. Barrett,
Thank you for your wonderful work. I had being caring for my mother for 2 months shy of seven years. My best friend passed away Monday, June 28. She was stricken with Alzheimer’s and it has always made me very angry that this country forgets its elderly in favor of so much unimportant junk. We can put men on the Moon be we cannot find cures or good assistance for people with Alzheimer’s or many of the other terrible diseases the elder and young, for that matter face.
I could take your time up with explaining how completely wonderful my mother is but you would just figure, “what else would her son say?” So I will not indulge myself. But I will tell you of a little organization in Green Bay, Wisconsin that provided my mother with unbelievably wonderful care 3 to 4 mornings each week. This also helped me as her sole caregiver, to get many things done, that otherwise would have had to be postponed or forgotten. Mom got to sing and and get a cute little prize or do some art work. I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
This organization is called ‘”The Cloud Family Care Center.” If you or your organization is looking to acknowledge places like this, well this should be one at the top of your list. It is doubtful if I would have been able to care for my Mom and have her live at home until she passed if it were not for this organization and the people that staff it. They do so many wonderful things you might want to find out what and how they do it.
Please consider giving them some praise for all their wonderful work.
Respectfully,
Stephen F. Kurowski
Green Bay, Wisconsin
~
Ms. Rona,
I was a full-time caregiver to my Mother for almost the last decade until her recent passing in February. My Mom was diagnosed with a neurological disorder called: Cortico Basal Ganglionic Degeneration; is easily described as a combination of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. I am very frustrated how ill prepared this country is to assist the elderly, so I am very happy to see someone with your status being so giving, Thank You! I saw a story on your Foundation on an evening news show and am sad to say it is the first I heard of it; maybe it is because I am on the east coast. I wish there were more that had the ability to give, that would give to our elderly, but they may have not been personnally affected.
I don’t feel society has a good understanding of what it is to be a caregiver and therefore, the support both emotionally and financially, is just not there for either the elderly or the caregivers. I am currently an active duty Coast Guard member and even had a hard time with the organization’s Work-Life Program to understand my situation because having a military member caring for a special needs parent was not common. I was very fortunate that the people I worked for understood and respected my situation, but it was difficult having to transfer every few years and worrying that the next boss may not be so understanding.
I continue to go to the assisted living that my Mom lived in the last 10 months of her life; it seems some of the residents remember my face, but not necessarily who I am. I am sad to say there are several that don’t have active families in their care; I visited my Mom daily and brought her home often.
My Mom was my world and I miss her dearly; I had to see her decline instead of her being able to enjoy her golden years, so I feel your pain of when your Father didn’t know your name…I am sorry!
Again, thank you for all that you are doing!
Sincerely,
Kristi Nadler
~
“Friend to Seniors”
~
Dear Rona,
Many years ago, when you had a television variety show on Saturday evenings I believe, I was one of the lucky ones, whose mail got picked for the ‘Electronic Mailbag’ segment. I’m sure you do not remember me; however, I just really wanted to tell you what a ‘Wonderful’ experience that was for me at that time in my life. My Question was for actor ‘Paul-Michael-Glaser,” formerly from the cops TV show ‘Starsky & Hutch.’
Thank you or your show for choosing my letter back then. We need more TV shows like that now…
I am now 52 and from 2003 – 2006, I became a caregiver for my mom, who was a stroke survivor. Sadly she passed away on Christmas Day 2006. The last 6 months of her life, I had to quit my full time job and become a full time caregiver for her. I refused to place her in a nursing home, where she would waste away.
She had to be in one, a nursing home, for 3 months due to a fall she had, and doctors had to insert a rod into her thigh. From Jan 14, 2005 to the day she passed, she was wheel chair bound. I am glad she was only restricted in a wheelchair for that amount of time because up until she fell, she was very active. She also had early stages of dementia. Though she always knew who she was and could remember everyone else, the disease did cause her personality to change somewhat.
But, what I want to share with your readers who may be still caring for their loved ones, never let your loved ones give up. I know firsthand how hard this is. My own mother was limited as to what she could do. Before she became ill, her passion in life was to care for her family. She loved to cook and was an awesome cook at that (I still miss her meals), but I still let her help me in the kitchen. She did what she could. We would also sit and play the children’s board game “Memory”, which is a very helpful game tool for the elderly… and the young at heart.
I wanted her to express her emotions. We tried coloring, but she use to get upset that she could not stay in the lines. So then I gave her a large scrape pad and paints. I said, “Let yourself go, you don’t have to worry about staying in the lines…,” and she’d paint away… I also used to hang up what she would paint… She used to love to read, but then her eyesight became poor. I am not sure if some of your readers know that most public libraries offer the “SOS Program,” where they will deliver free materials right to a person’s doorstep, whether they live in their own home or an apartment. Then when they are finished, all people have to do is put back the materials that were sent (books, DVDs, CDs, even magazines) in a blue zipper bag, and turn the mail card around, place the zip tie around the zipper, and leave for their mail person to pick up. It is an awesome service the library provides.
So, I turned my mom onto audio books and she loved listening to her style of music, Dean Martin,
Frank Sinatra, Bobby Darin, etc. with the CD player I had gotten for her.
I also treated her with respect; after all, though she was ill, she was still my mom. I also tried to give her some independence, like I asked if she would be alright while I went to get the mail… I was never gone long, but I’d give her some peace, even though she could not do what she use to do. She was still her own person.
I know now what they mean by saying care giving can be so rewarding and at the same time, be so frustrating. But, if I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat because I developed a special bond with my mom that my older siblings can’t touch. She was my best friend, and I miss her every day… Thank you for letting me share my story… This letter is dedicated to my mom (Dolly Whistler) and all the caregivers who are caring for their loved ones… Never give up… it is worth it.
Respectfully,
Karen Whistler